Damsel in Distress and Damon in a Dress
by ThisLooksLikeAJobForMe
Summary: Damon's phone rings. Oh no! Elena is in trouble! Damon is told to do something to save her. Hang on. Do WHHAATTT? Pure comedy one-shot. NOT DELENA!


**Damsel in Distress and Damon in a Dress**

**A TVD ONE-SHOT!**

**Heyy ****=]**

**So this is the product of my random imagination. It's a one-shot (pretty short!), and pure comedy – no fluffly stuff in this one! I hope you enjoy it!**

**The Other Brother will be updated today, my new Harry Potter FanFic (Trying and Failing Not to Fall For You) will be up by the end of the month and the sequel to DME (Forever Leaves You Hanging) will be posted on Christmas Day.**

**Dedicated to my best friends – Vixy, Saffron, Katy, Milly, Jen, Amber, Anna…I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Peace, Love, Damon and Tom Fletcher (go McArmy!)**

**ThisLooksLikeAJobForMe**

**Saskia**

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**Follow on Twitter – 'SaskiaWuhay'**

~ Damon's POV ~

I was lounging out on my bed, contemplating my…_delicious _meal last night, when my phone buzzed. I frowned, and checked the caller I.D. Blocked number. Bollocks. I sighed and answered it. It was probably some chick I met when I was too drunk to care.

"Hello?" I drawled.

"Damon Salvatore." A voice growled down the line. I sat up, shocked. Please don't say I had given my number to a guy! Oh the shame, the shame!

"Who is this?" I snapped.

"I have Elena Gilbert here with me. She looks…tasty." The voice purred.

"What have you done to her?" I was in my car in a flash, regardless of the two flights of stairs and God knows how many doors between.

"Nothing…yet." The voice leered. "However, that could all change if you don't do exactly as I say…"

"What do you want?" My hands were shaking.

"Here's what you have to do…" My eyes widened as the voice outlined my instructions. Oh bloody hell.

~ ? POV ~

I put the phone down and turned to my accomplices. They stared back with steady eyes.

"He fell for it?" One questioned. I lifted away my mouthpiece.

"Hook, line and sinker." I smirked.

~ Damon's POV ~

I pulled up at the designated address and yanked the handbrake. The house looked ordinary enough – a typical family house. It didn't look like the sort of building whose inhabitant would hire male…

_No, _I thought to myself. I wasn't going to think of myself as one of _those_. This didn't mean anything. I was just helping my friend Elena (friend…_friend_!) and I had to do it in a specific manner. No biggy. I'd go in there, grab her, snap her kidnapper's necks and be out of there again. Easy peasy, booby squeasy. I had normal clothes on under this…_thing_, so I could be back to regular, sexy, dangerous Damon more or less immediately. I hoped.

I sighed and got out of the car. I had to admit it, I was pretty well disguised. Of course I was. I'm über talented and smart, and I looked gorgeous no matter what I wear. Still…I didn't really like this look. So not my style. At least no-one would recognise me. I personally thought the wig was a perfect finishing touch. Holding my head high, I walked smartly over to the door. I prepared to kick it down, then froze. Shit!

How the hell was I supposed to kick anything down in five inch heels?

~ Elena's POV ~

My head shot up as an arm punched through the door. The hand fumbled with the handle and then shoved the door open. Standing there, looking triumphant and heroic in an electric blue dress with gorgeous black stilettos and dark brown hair flowing in waves down their back was…

"Oh my God, Damon! This is priceless!" I turned to Caroline who was delightedly clapping her hands in glee. I caught sight of Bonnie, who had tears streaming down her face, and Stefan and Jeremy, who were holding each other up as they killed themselves laughing. Finally, I turned back to Damon, and I couldn't stop myself. I burst into hysterical laughter.

"What the holy fuck is going on here?" Damon roared. It only made us laugh twice as hard! I whipped out my phone and snapped a couple of candid shots of 'Tranny Damon'. His furious face was marred by the make-up he had clumsily applied, and the long hair that was lopsided. When my hysterics had subsided into giggles, I attempted to speak.

"No-one is holding me captive Damon. We…" I was interrupted by Caroline's peal of laughter. "We got a voice changing thingy and blocked our number. And we told you to put on a dress…" This proved too much and I couldn't hold it back any longer. I collapsed into helpless laughter again. Damon looked from me, to Stefan, to Bonnie, to Caroline, to Jeremy and back to me again.

"Shit a brick!" He exclaimed. Then he started laughing.


End file.
